'Tis the season... for the chiropractor

It’s been a week of sore muscles.

Well, it’s also been a week of celebration, gratitude, generosity, family fun and good food. But the sore muscles really do stand out.

First, the hit to the pocketbook as well as the back: On Monday, we joined the 23% of Americans purchasing televisions this season. This necessitated a trip to Sears to get our plasma. A cheerful Sears minion loaded it into my pickup; Karla and I had to carry it into the house and lift it, above shoulder level, to the TV nook above our fireplace. But that TV is only 87 lbs. The big job was getting the old 32” tube TV (142 lbs, according to Google) out of the nook and then up the stairs to our bedroom armoire. This old beast has been with me for nine years, in and out of at least seven residences. I’m tired of moving it; I think when it finally breaks down, I’ll just toss it out the bedroom window onto the pavement, though knowing the Japanese Victor Company’s tendency to overbuild things, it will probably just bounce a bit.

Our next sore-muscle adventure occurred Christmas morning. My brother and his family had arrived the previous evening at the start of a blizzard that continued for the next eighteen hours. Christmas morning there was a 2-foot snowdrift in front of our house:


After digging out enough to get the garage door open, we scouted the territory and surmised that if we could get Tony’s crossover SUV off the driveway and into the one-lane section of the street that had been plowed, we would probably be okay to make the 40-minute drive to my parents’ place, where family, meals and my niece’s Christmas presents awaited. So we loaded up two toddlers, their gear, several presents and a homemade cheesecake into the car and started down the driveway. We made it about five feet off the driveway before we were stuck. There followed 45 minutes of hilarity, where we would dig the wheels out, only to have the car fishtail back into the mire. Here’s a tip: The 2WD Mazda CX-9 with sun-belt tires is a lousy snow vehicle.


With the snow still coming down (or sideways, as it were, with the wind), we had to throw in the towel. We unloaded the crowd and goodies; after breakfast, we set out to get the Mazda back on the driveway lest it have an unfortunate encounter with a plow or other vehicle. The result was another fun adventure of dig-push-dig-push, chipping through the ice down to the pavement one or two feet at a time, until we cleared the driveway threshold. By this time both Tony and I were soaked and freezing, but I felt better after a hot shower, a hot mug of cider, and a nice nap in front of the fire. Watching the snow continue to come down, I felt awfully glad to be the beneficiary of central heating, R-45 insulation, and Karla’s cooking, rather than being stuck in the snow by the side of the road with two unhappy toddlers. Homemade ham and potato soup isn’t the traditional Christmas feast, but I can’t think of a Christmas meal that tasted better.

The final chapter in the back-breaking week was a voluntary exercise: the transportation and installation of two enormous cabinets my dad made for our family as a Christmas present. Ever since we saw the floor plan for our family room three years ago, we knew we wanted built-in cabinets on either side of the fireplace. The builder wanted to charge us $4000 to put them in, so we decided to add them later. Dad offered to put them together for us this year. I don’t think any of us realized quite how big they would be: eight feet tall, five feet wide and 20 inches deep, each. Doesn’t sound too bad on paper, but when we saw them in my dad’s wood shop, they looked truly imposing. With Dad’s truck snowed in, the only option was my smaller pickup. This required carting them across my parents’ front yard (on a slope), through a foot of snow, to the driveway on the opposite side of the lot.

The snow and ice meant using a hand truck, or most any other back-saving device invented in the past 4000 years, was out of the question. As it turned out, though, the snow was actually more of a benefit than a hindrance. Because these cabinets would be enclosed on three sides by the walls, we didn’t need to keep the sides pretty; it was important to preserve only the front (and interior) of each unit for public consumption. This allowed us to slide the cabinets on their sides for a fair amount of the distance. It was still a chore, since the trail led uphill for several yards, but ultimately it was easier than it would have been on dry ground. We hoisted them into the pickup and made the trip to our home with no incident, though a gust of wind as we came down the hill into the valley caused them to sway a bit (and just about made my heart stop). Karla devised a way to slide the cabinets across our tile and wood flooring by placing bathroom mats face-down on the floor. The rubberized backs of the mats stuck to the cabinets and they slid, carpet-side down, across the flooring easily. There was some lifting and pushing to get them installed in their nooks, but they fit perfectly. Thanks, and nice job, Dad!


So, one week and half a bottle of Advil later, we have a new family room, with high-definition TV and loads of storage space for books, toys, and anything else you can think of. Let’s just hope there’s nothing else to move or shovel for a couple of days. In the meantime, I'll be keeping my eye on snow blower prices.